I know it's been very quiet on here the last few weeks and the last post i wrote was one i didn't have to put a lot of effort into. We do have an extremely short last term of the school year so everything is kind of cramed together, meaning there isn't a single week were i don't have at least two exams to write. But school is only partly to blame for the lack of posts, the main reason is that i am not really sure where i want this blog to go.
I love skincare and makeup, trying out new products and writing about them but i want to put more of myself into my writing, my thoughts, worries and simply moments or things that inspired me. Personally, the blogs i love reading most are either beauty or health/food related ones where you feel like you know the person behind the website. I am talking about blogs such as Lipstick with some sunshine or The Blonde Vegan but also The Raw Foodsisters. I want my personality to shine through in my writing and I want to write about my own personal struggles and experiences, but this doesn't come easy to me.
Writing this post is already quite hard for me as i tend to keep my thoughts and emotions to myself, even if this means they are literally eating me up from the inside. Express what i really feel and to do so in a way that people actually want to read it is something i feel i'm not very good at,but also one of the things i strive for most in my writing.
The fact that english isn't my mother language is making it even harder for me to feel comfortable about my posts. While the words seem to just flow out of my fingertips at times,there are moments where it feels more like a fight, a constant struggle, me against the letters. Still, english is the language i want to write in, as much as i love german it just never sounds quite right to me, like it's impossible to express what i really want to say.
This post was a bot more rambly than i'd entended but i just wanted to let you know that i am in fact still here, i am just trying to figure out how i can turn this into the kind of place i know it can be: a place where i can share the things i'm passionate about and hopefully someday help and/or someone. For now, i am simply some random teenage girl writing to less than a dozen readers (whom i love, i am filled with joy every single time i see a new comment,page view or subscriber has come to this blog), and as most teenagers, i am still trying to find my path and place in this world. And while life is a constant search and there is no one goal which, once reached, will fill you with endless bliss, i do hope this blog can help push me in the right direction. As of now, there is just a sea of millions of blinking arrows, all pointing somewhere entirely different and i have no idea which one to follow. Which you can probably tell by the way this post started out as something entirely different than what it eventually ended up being.
Anyways, i hope at least one person found this post enjoyable and maybe you are or have been in a similar situation. I'd love to hear your thoughts!