I know i'm a bit late on the whole "review of 2013"-post-train but i believe it's never too late for me to talk about what has probably been the most defining year of my life so far.
2013 was full of changes. I encountered some of the most challenging situations i'd ever had to face, one of them being alone on the other side of the world for 6 whole months.
Going on exchange was one of the best decisions i've ever made, it taught me so much more than i would've ever expected. Not only did it give me experiences and memories i'll never forget, i simply came back a different person.
I'm not trying to say that i'm all grown up and wise now, but i've just come to realize how lucky i am.
My family & friends support me in everything I do, they accept and love me just the way i am and, most importantly, they're always there to catch me when i fall into a deep hole of over-analyzing and self-doubt.
I have the incredible chance to be healthy, live without any serious financial worries, do well at school without having to work my a** of, and most of all, even though I don't always feel confident about myself, be appreciated for the person i am.
If anyone had told me a year ago how much i will have experienced by the end of 2013, i would've straight-up laughed at them. Of course i was expecting to have a great time in Australia, but i didn't imagine those 5 months to change me in the way they did.
No words can describe the way i feel when i look back at 2013. Happy with a hint of nostalgia because i know these things lie in the past now, thankful for even the hardest times as they've only made me stronger - and a part of me is afraid. Afraid that 2014 won't be able to live up to 2013, afraid that it doesn't hold anything for me except for the feeling of having wasted a whole year.
I do know how foolish it is to say this when i have 12 months in front of me to make something of it, but somehow i feel like i simply don't deserve another year as great as the last one. It seems obvious to me that it is somebody else's time to shine now.
However, while that part of me tends to win the overhand at times, i am not going to let it keep me from making the most of this year. Our lives are not decided by destiny - we decide about our own destiny.
As no "new year" post is complete without a set of resolutions, here are mine:
become at ease in my own body - by being active and eating healthy, but more so by appreciating the body i have
reduce the amount of over-thinking and over-analyzing that i tend to do
stop trying to force love and relationships - whatever is supposed to happen, will happen, when it happens
accept that i am not perfect, nor do i need to make everybody happy all the time.put myself first when it's necessary
take care of myself as much as i do of others
I wouldn't technically call these my resolutions for 2014 in that I want to have accomplished all of them by the end of 2014 - it seems extremely silly to me to put a time-limit on resolutions like these. Most people tend to set unrealistic goals for themselves and then feel like they've accomplished nothing just because they didn't achieve them. so what if by next year i will still worry to much about having or not having a boyfriend than is healthy - i'm sure there will be enough other "accomplishments" over the course of a year to make up for it.
These are areas that I wan't to focus on working on during the coming year - not a list I want to have ticked of.
I hope you all have the best year 2014 you could wish for and that you don't let tough times bring you down. you'll always come out he other side, and chances are, you'll come out stronger!